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Quotes from "Girl, You'll Be a Giant Soon"
Written by Dan McGrath
Directed by Cyndi Tang-Loveland

HANK: Look, son, there's Big Tex. He's like the Grand Canyon and the Statue of Liberty rolled into one.
BOBBY: He seems tough, but kind.
HANK: Yep. He always tells us what to do, and see, and eat. I've gotten better advice from him than from my own father.

LUANNE: If the election were held today, I would vote for... nobody. I know that elections don't happen today. They happen on Tuesdays in months ending in "vember."

DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
HANK: Propane is excluded from the Texas State Fair.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.

DALE: Rules are rules, Hank. Without rules there would be chaos. That's why we no longer visit the public pool.
HANK: But this is blatantly unfair.
BILL: Yeah, poor, poor Hank, with his wife, and his son, and his hair. Nobody will let him grill with propane!

MELLY-ANNE: I'm afraid we're only showing this house to potential buyers. No Looky-Lous.

PEGGY: We have got to come back. If we do not get to see that laundry room, then the victim will have died in vain.

LUANNE: I hate smoke. It makes me feel like I just kissed a guy who smokes. Not that you'd know what it's like to kiss a guy. Well, some guys do, just not you.

HANK: You mean some kind of crazy protest grill? That's not the kind of thing I normally go in for.
LUANNE: But they're pushing around propane, and propane doesn't have arms to push back with.

LUANNE: I want to celebrate. Toss another bucket of propane on the fire!
HANK: Luanne, maybe I should get you some brochures.

BOOMHAUER: I love ol' Hank, man, but got-dang, talkin' 'bout "Propane, propane, propane." Y'know, I don't talk about what I do for a living, man.
BILL: Poor Bobby, being replaced by Luanne. My dad replaced me with TV and the bottle.

LUANNE: Wow, it looks like you hate everything. Do you think you could hate charcoal too?
JASON: I think you could persuade me.

DYLAN: Charcoal is murder!
LUANNE: Oh, that's so good.
ZACK: Dude, things that are murder is my thing. Smoke is murder!
JASON: No blood for charcoal!
LUANNE: Uncle Hank will be so excited.
JASON: Luanne, this "Uncle Hank," he's a real uncle, not an older dude who's like your boyfriend, right?
AMALIA: You know what? I am the babe around here. I am not going to become the mom.

BOOMHAUER: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
DALE: Yep.
BOBBY: Okay.

DALE: So, Bobby, are you upset about Luanne usurping your first-born male right of primogrillature?
BOBBY: Are you kidding? I'm just hoping she can throw a football too, because then I'm home free.

DALE: You're as good at telling me what to do as your dad is!

LUANNE (in Big Tex): If you don't use propane, I'm going to stomp on you! Uh... how do you lift the legs?

LUANNE: Listen, Texas! Our forests are dying to make the charcoal to burn the flesh of the cows you've murdered!

HANK: Even though I still think what you're doing is asinine, if you come down, we can talk about it. Like adults.

LUANNE: Well, Officer, I'm an adult now and I'm ready to do what grown-up people do: go to jail.

HANK: Tell me, is Big Tex as amazing on the inside as he is on the outside?
LUANNE: Yeah. You think you're going to be really nervous, 'cause he's Big Tex and all, but he was really down-to-earth. Really. Like being inside a regular giant guy.
HANK: A man of the people. I knew it.

BIG TEX: Howdy, folks! Today, State Grill-Off! Clog dancing unlimited! The world's smallest hippo! Howdy! Thursday night, livestock show! Free diabetes screenings! Howdy! Sunday night, salute to the pecan!

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