The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "It Ain't Over Till the Fat Neighbor Sings"
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Quotes from "It Ain't Over Till the Fat Neighbor Sings"
Written by Etan Cohen
Directed by Julius Wu
HANK: Yep.
DALE: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.
BILL (sighs): If I never went back to work, I don't think anyone would notice.
DALE: Sure they would, Bill -- when there's suddenly enough food to go around! (Beat) The point I'm trying to make is, you're fat.
BILL: I don't know. With all the reservists, there's a lot of fat guys.
DALE: But guys who are as bald as you are, too?
HANK: Bill, I'm taking you to the one place that can fix whatever you've got going on inside you. You know, the despair and whatnot.
BILL: This shirt is pretty sharp, huh? It cost me a pretty penny, but like Kris says, "You gotta spend money to make magic."
BOOMHAUER: Dang ol'... huh.
HANK: I know we were hoping he'd choose something less godawful, but at least it seems to be keeping him out of the morgue.
KRIS: We all have a lot of competing pressures in our lives. People are gonna tell you there's more important things than the chorus. You laugh, but I've heard it all. "I can't do the chorus, my son has a football game." "I can't do the chorus, I have to go to work." "I can't do the chorus, I have couples therapy." What do we say to that, Joe?
JOE: We need to be strong! So what are we gonna do?
HARMONAHOLICS: Tuuuuuuune them out!
DALE (seeing the Harmonaholics poster): Hey, Nancy has that same blouse.
DALE: Yep.
HANK: Yep.
BILL (in rhythm): Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep-yep-yep...
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.
BILL: So, what did you guys think of the show?
DALE: Normally I'd tell you to go to my blog, but even that's being censored by Hank.
HANK: So... I noticed a lot of those chorus guys had wives.
BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, talkin' 'bout what about Cowboys vs. Dolphins, man, Monday night?
HANK: Lord forgive me for saying this, but: there will be other games.
HANK (to Larry): Look, you seem like a nice guy, so I'm telling you this for your own good: judging by the two times I've met you, your life has been a waste so far. Forget these chorus guys and find a nice girl, or at least something productive to do like a stamp collection. Your local postmaster can help you. Here's his number.
KRIS: "Leave early?" Did I just hear what I think I heard?
BILL: Probably. You're never wrong.
KRIS: This is a chor-us, William, not a chor-me. If you leave, Otto's gonna turn and sing "I Want to Know What Love Is" to nobody!! He'll look like a fool!!!
PBS ANNOUNCER: We can only bring you this kind of quality, commercial-free programming through the generosity of viewers like you, and McDonald's, home of the McGriddle. McDonald's. I'm lovin' it.
HANK: All right, Dale. Help him.
DALE: Wait. Is this a trick?
HANK: Nope. Let 'er rip. Just keep it clean.
DALE: Bill!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you!! You're part of a twelve-headed Jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind! Underwear.. buddy.. fat...