"Windows 98 is a buggy browser on top of a 32-bit
extension and graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating
system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit
company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will
Vaporware. Rogue Error Messages. Blue Screen of
Death. Sabotaged Java. Windows Everywhere. Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt. Undocumented
APIs. ActiveX. Embrace and Extend. Issues. Dancing Paper Clip. Office Macro
Viruses. Integration. Anti-Trust Violations. Bob. Hype. CPU Tax. End User
License Agreements. Wintel Duopoly. Bugs.
Have been used by Microsoft today?
"Hello, tech support? I just installed Windows95..."
Windows95 is crash compatible with Windows 1.0,
2.x, and 3.x.
Windows 95 really does have pre-emptive multitasking:
It can boot and crash at the same time.
Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press
any key to empty.
"Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship
out of this Universe!"
Buy a Pentium 200 so you can reboot faster.
I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2!
The Microsoft Motto: "We're the leaders, wait
"Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!" --
Bill Gates, 1981
"Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM." -- Bill
"Nobody will ever need Windows 95." -- logical
If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds
must be the Messiah.
Never trust an operating system you don't have
In a world without fences who needs Gates?
My Beowulf cluster will beat your Windows NT network
Get it up, keep it up... LINUX: Viagra for the
A truly stable environment would be a concrete
basement with no windows! Computers are no different.
MS and Y2K: Windows 95, 98, ... and back again
Windows: The first user interface where you click
Start to turn it off.
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted
the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows
crashed... Oh wait, he does.
I'm still waiting for the "Honk if you hate Microsoft"
[bumper sticker], but that might get annoying, everyone honking at you.
Windows Error: CPU too tired to continue.
Windows loaded. System in danger.
Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening.
Unable to exit windows. Try the door.
Mouse not found. Press mouse button to continue.
Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now in
Blackmail Error: Send $200 to Gates or your computer
will get so messed up it will never work again.
You just changed the location of an icon on the
Desktop. For this change to be permanent, you must reboot the computer
Please insert the floppy disk labeled Windows
NT Installation CD-ROM into Drive A:.
Who is General Failure? And why is he reading
my hard drive?
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