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Quotes from "Daletech"
Written by J.B. Cook
Directed by Dominic Polcino

HANK: Can Daletech do anything about getting me a privacy hedge?
DALE: To be honest, we're more into the invasion of privacy business, not the creation of privacy business.

HANK: Bobby, did you drink my grapefruit juice?
BOBBY: Yeah, sure, Dad, I drank your grapefruit juice. I had it with a big bowl of broccoli.

HANK: They have daycare for seniors?
PEGGY: It's the newest craze. Since life expectancy has spiralled out of control, many nursery schools are being converted to accomodate seniors. I'll pack him a sack lunch.

COTTON: Whatcha doin'? Some kind of woman's work?

SOCIAL DIRECTOR: Sorry about the murals, but we're still in transition.
COTTON: Don't matter to me, madam. Where can I transition into my underpants?
SOCIAL DIRECTOR: Oh, did you have an accident?
COTTON (reading a sign): "We take Blue Cross?" What kind of brothel is this?

COTTON: All right, I'm in charge of keeping the peace now. So if anybody thinks I'm not worth the spit to shine a shoe, they better be willing to talk to me and my partner, Sergeant Whippy.

DALE: Cotton's got to go. But he's got Hank behind him, and Hank's the alpha neighbor. I'm gamma or delta at best.

PEGGY: I don't know, Hank. Cotton working as a cop? He has a terrible human rights record.

PEGGY (after Cotton cracks his whip): Cotton, that is an outdoor toy.
COTTON: Ten-four, Manimal!

COTTON: Dangit, Wolfman! Your belly-beard done burned out the motor!

BILL: You've got to help me.
DALE: Well, you're not a member of Daletech, but I guess I could intervene just this once.
BILL: Thank you, Daletech.

COTTON: The weight of a jalopy always crushes the truth out of a man.
DALE (to Boomhauer): He called your car a jalopy. That is literally adding insult to injury.

COTTON: Dang butterfly!! (Cracks whip)
BILL: Now I understand why lion tamers get mauled every so often.

BILL: He pulled my belly hairs with a juicer!
LUANNE: It took me sixteen years to get my first driver's license! I'm too old to start over!
BOBBY: He keeps on pressing me to name Connie as a Communist. I had to!

DALE: Daletech's a bust. I guess this isn't the right economic climate for an expensive, poorly-trained visionary.

DALE: You really shouldn't feel so worthless. I'm much more of a burden on my family, and I feel great.

(Kahn and Minh sneak into the Hills' house. Kahn takes a drink of grapefruit juice)
MINH: Hey, slow down. That juice expensive for poor hillbillies like us.
KAHN: Oh, you right. I shouldn't have done that. I'm a very bad redneck, Peggy Hill.
MINH: Maybe I teach you a lesson. After all, I'm always blabbing about being a substitute teacher.
KAHN: You look as sexy to me as propane tank, I tell you what.

KAHN: I promise never to do it again! We go back to library reading room if we need cheap thrill!

KAHN: Hey, this tape pretty good. Can I have it?

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